I've talked to guys since him. I've been really interested in other guys and as much as i talk to one i still think about him. not getting back together with him, not spending the rest of my life with him, not even seeing him. i think about talking to him, just being friends. maybe looking for more closure. more comfort in knowing that he doesnt hate me or regret anything, maybe an apology.
it's hard falling, truly falling for someone and then getting everything torn out from under you, twice.
it's hard losing someone, someone you cared about, and invested so much into. it would be easier if he had died and i couldn't do anything but wish. Now I sit and wish and know that i can't do anything because he wont accept it... that's the hardest part.